


11:11

by Princess_Dom



Series: Yeosang x ATEEZ Oneshots [3]
Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Angst, I Made Myself Cry, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-26
Updated: 2020-08-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:20:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26121070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Princess_Dom/pseuds/Princess_Dom
Summary: "I only wish for you to stay by my side. That's the only wish that I hope to happen. No matter how impossible it could be."In which Wooyoung wished to have his best friend back.
Relationships: Jung Wooyoung & Kang Yeosang, Jung Wooyoung/Kang Yeosang
Series: Yeosang x ATEEZ Oneshots [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1890454
Comments: 1
Kudos: 30





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is already published on Wattpad, but I have rewritten it and posted it here.
> 
> WARNING: This is really angsty, please be aware of the tags as well.

> _ “They say that when the clock hits 11:11, the universe will be open to listen and make your wish come true. However, they did not tell him that it has certain rules to follow.” _
> 
> _ “If you have not checked the time since before 11:00, and look at the clock at exactly 11:11 then you can make a wish. Once you have made your wish, look away from the clock immediately. Your wish will not come true if you see the time change to 11:12. You should look at the clock at exactly 11:13 but if you have missed it, your wish will not come true.” _

He let a small smile slip in his lips, gazing down at the picture frame that he holds with both of his hands. They have their eyes closed out of happiness, a look of content as both of them engulfed each other in their arms. They wore the black robe and their graduation hat, smiling brightly for the camera to capture the happiness and joy behind it.

He gently placed down the picture frame beside many pictures next to it. His eyes skimmed towards their smiling faces until it landed to a picture that only one person is standing, tears streaming on his face while forcing out a smile and standing next to a tombstone.

It was him, standing right next to the grave of his best friend. The one that he has failed to save. The one that promised him that he will always be there to support him, and hold his hand.

“Where did it go wrong?” He asked himself, tracing his index finger on a picture of Yeosang smiling brightly at the camera while holding up their intertwined fingers. He heaved a sigh, straining his eyes away from the pictures that hold so much memories.

He found himself standing before the tombstone, reading the words that always make him snap back to reality.

_ Kang Yeosang _

_ 1997 – 2019 _

_ “A loving son, brother and best friend.” _

A bitter smile etched on his face, his eyes watering at seeing it again as if it just happened yesterday. He let go of the flowers he had been tightly gripping, neatly sitting it next to a frame with Yeosang’s formal picture of when he had just gotten a job.

He glanced at his watch,  _ 11:09am _ before looking back up at the name engraved on the stone that will forever haunt him. He took a deep breath to calm himself but the tears that have fallen down says otherwise. He wiped it using the hem of the white hoodie, smelling the familiar scent that he would always smell from Yeosang.

He could no longer control the tears that he tried his hardest to keep at bay. He wiped the tears that continuously ran down with the back of his hand. He dropped down on his knees, staining the black pants with dirt. He hung his head low, clenching his fists.

_ It hurts. The pain, it’s suffocating me. I can’t breathe. I’m searching for your warmth. Where are you? Are you doing okay now? Are you finally happy? _

_ 11:10am _

He only wishes to be with his best friend, laughing with him and hanging out with their other friends. He wants to hold him in his arms for one last time and tell him that he truly loves him.

_ He wishes to save his best friend _ . He wished that he wasn’t too late to realize that Yeosang was drowning in the darkness while he stood above hom, only holding his hand until they slipped and let the other fall.

_ 11:11am _

_ A wish waiting to be granted. _

Wooyoung slowly opened his eyes, blinking to adjust his eyesight from the sunlight that peeked through his curtains. He stared mindlessly up above the white ceiling that taunted him and made the thoughts inside of his head run wild. He shook it off, turning to his side to take a look at the clock.

_ 11:12am _ , Wooyoung felt as if he been through hell when he stood up from the bed, his body aching but it does not compare to the pain inside of his heart. He let out a sigh, walking like a zombie towards the bathroom.

He glanced at the mirror, seeing the dry tear stains that left a trace on his cheeks, his eyes are puffy and swollen from having to cry all night. He took a hand up to puff down the haggard hair sitting on top of his head, similarly to a bird nest.

After trying to make his hair better than before, he gave up on the third try seeing that there is no hope unless he showers. He opened the faucet, splashing water on his face to wake him up and when he looked up, he saw Yeosang rolling his eyes at him.

_ “You look like shit.” Yeosang commented, skimming his eyes up and down. Wooyoung’s nose is red, eyes swollen, and he didn’t even fix his clothes to make it presentable for Yeosang but that didn’t bother him at all. _

_ “I know.” He dryly replied, opening the door widely for the other to enter. Wooyoung was devastated, he had just found out that his so-called-boyfriend cheated on him. That’s the reason why he called Yeosang, hoping to talk it over the phone but Yeosang insisted that he can comfort him more better if he is there beside him, plus he gets to have ice cream. _

_ “You know, I would have punched him.” Yeosang pulled Wooyoung in his arms, running a hand through his hair as the other stifled a laugh, burying himself on his chest to hide the tears from him. _

_ “You wouldn’t be able to land a punch.” _

_ “Please!” He interjected, “I can and I will! Just wait.” _

_ When Wooyoung arrived at school, his eyes quickly landed on his ex-boyfriend who has a black eye, broken nose and swollen lips. Yeosang slapped his arm, swinging an arm over his shoulder as if their personality quickly switched places. _

_ “I told you.” He turned to Yeosang, “I would be able to land a punch.” Yeosang lifted up his fist, kissing it then winked at Wooyoung. When he and his ex-boyfriend had eye contact, the other froze, face paling before running away until he couldn't be seen anymore. _

_ “Yeo…” Wooyoung didn’t know what to feel, but he couldn’t help the loud laugh that bubbled inside of him. He turned to Yeosang, hugging him tightly while laughing. “You’re… _

,,,amazing.” Wooyoung whispered, having a stare-down at the reflection that looks like it will break down soon. He gripped the side of the sink, his knuckles turning white. He closed his eyes tightly, wishing for the tears to stop.

“Why…” Frustration bubbles inside of him, overtaking the sadness inside of him. “Just stop!” He cried out, his fist landing at the mirror in front of him, the loud shattering glass echoed inside of the thin walls. He stumbled backwards, holding his head and pulling his hair then falling on his knees, scraping the exposed skin from the pieces of glass that scattered around on the floor.

_ Turn back the time when I first met you. Bring me back to the past before I lost you. _

_ I’m losing myself. The pain is too much to handle. Why did you have to leave so soon? _


	2. Chapter 2

He lifelessly dazed down on the bloody knuckles that rested on his lap, He couldn’t even feel the pain, and he felt numb, empty as if he is nothing but a body that is trying to live through every single day.

His head snapped towards the door, startled by the sudden ringing of the familiar ringtone that filled the silence. He swallowed the lump on his throat, hearing the familiar song that he always hears from Yeosang. He forced himself to stand up, almost buckling back down if it were not for the wall saving him.

He walked out of the bathroom, spotting the light of his phone by his bedside table. He grabbed it and answered, without seeing the caller ID.

“Hello?” He croaked out, evidence of sadness trailing. A gasp could be heard from the other line as Wooyoung stood frozen upon the voice that filled his ear.k

“Woo, why are you crying?” His gentle, deep voice went straight to his aching heart, the hand that clutched the phone shook vigorously. He lifted his hand to cover his mouth from letting the other hear his sobs. He could still hear his voice, asking him if he’s okay and if he needed him to go there immediately.

_ Is it true? What if it’s just a dream? _

“Yeo- Yeosang…” He sank down on the floor, tightly gripping the phone with both of his hands. “Sangie… sangie... I-I-“ He couldn’t form the words that he wanted to tell to him, feeling as if everything disappeared and that it didn’t matter as long as he could still hear Yeosang.

“I’m almost there. Please wait for me.” Wooyoung wanted to answer back that he has always waited for him, that he will always wait for him for eternity. He closed his eyes tightly, the sob racking out of his body. He bit his lips to try and refrain the sounds but it didn’t work.

He gasped, feeling the familiar warmth that used to engulf him. He turned around, eyes widening at the face that appeared before him.

“Yeo-“ He latched himself towards his best friend, burying his head on his neck to smell that very familiar scent. He tightly wrapped his arms around him, afraid that he’ll disappear right in his eyes, afraid that he’ll wake up from this dream. “You’re- Yo-“ He clutched the back of his shirt, letting the tears stain the shirt.

“Shh, I’m here now.” Yeosang wrapped his arms around Wooyoung, patting his hand on his back as comfort. “I will always be here.”

_ Do you remember our promise? We promise each other that we’ll always be by each other’s side. I’ll always follow you until the end but why would you do this to me? Why would you leave me in this cruel world? _

_ We told ourselves that we’ll go hand in hand no matter where the path will lead us. I kept holding onto you, but you let yourself slip and let go of my hand. _

_ Have you ever considered my feelings before you left? Why are you so selfish? _

_ Yet, I could never tell you that. I could not afford getting angry with you, not when you embrace me in your arms and whisper things that you know will comfort me. _

_ I have so many questions to ask you, but now that you’re here standing before me, I couldn’t let any word out. I can’t help but run to you and hope that you won’t fade away when I finally reach you. _

_ How much do I miss you? How do I tell you of how much I miss you? Even the whole universe cannot compare on how much I miss you. I miss you so damn much, that holding you felt so nostalgic. _

Wooyoung peered at the hand that gripped his wrist. He let himself get dragged towards the couch and be forced to sit down. He could still not believe that Yeosang was standing there, scolding him as he took a medicine kit from one of the cabinets.

“What would you do without me?” Yeosang sighed, shaking his head as he finally settled down beside Wooyoung. He gently took the bleeding knuckles in his hand, dabbing it with the cotton he had added a medicine.

“I won’t be able to live without you.” Wooyoung muttered under his breath, watching as Yeosang furrowed his eyebrows out of concentration. He smiled at him, lifting his other hand to cup Yeosang’s cheek that made the other look up at him confusingly.

“You can.” Yeosang said softly, quickly looking down to avoid letting his emotions be seen yet Wooyoung caught the pain inside of his eyes. Has it always been like this? He clenched his jaw, frustrated at himself. Was he really that stupid to not notice the subtle signs that Yeosang gave?

At that moment, Wooyoung wanted to cry out. He wanted to hold Yeosang close to him and tell him that he is sorry over and over again. He let his hand fall limp on his side, closing his eyes as he felt Yeosang wrapping a bandage over the wounded knuckles and pecking it lightly.

It’s a habit of Yeosang to always leave a peck on the bandage wound, as if it will make the wound get better quickly. It might have not, but the wound inside of his heart did. He smiled sadly, remembering every single memory he had with Yeosang, every habits he had, every words he had told him.

“Woo?” He opened his eyes to see Yeosang looking at him with concern, Wooyoung shook his head and adjusted his place on the couch. He placed his head on Yeosang’s lap, gazing up at his face as the other looked down at him with a soft smile.

“What happened?” Yeosang asked after a while of comfortable silence between them. Wooyoung tensed, looking away from the stare that the older directed to him and instead focused on the fingers that ran through his hair.

_ Wooyoung was not aware of what had happened. It was night at that time when they decided to hang around his home together with his friends. He watched Yeosang letting out a laugh that sounds painfully fake to Wooyoung’s ears but of course, he didn’t know at all. _

_ “Hey,” Hongjoong sat down beside him, then stared ahead towards the others playing teasing Yeosang. “Is it just me or is Yeosang becoming more active?” Wooyound didn’t know the message that lied behind the message and he wasn’t able to grasp whatever Hongjoong is trying to tell him. He glanced at Hongjoong before flickering his eyes back at Yeosang, to see him laughing at some dumb joke that Yunho threw. Wooyoung shook his head, smiling. _

_ “He’s fine.” _

_ It was a lie. _

_ He is not fine. He still remembered Yeosang leaving early than them and telling Wooyoung to enjoy his time with them instead of spending time with him. He still remembered pacing back and forth on his own home with others sharing worried glances while he calls Yeosang repeatedly, only for it to end up going to voicemail. _

_ He left messages, visited his house but he is nowhere to be seen, that is until Yeosang’s parents called in and told the news that made Wooyoung’s world come crashing down. _

_ “He’s dead.” _

He couldn’t look up to Yeosang, knowing that he already had tears running down. He couldn’t lift his own eyes to look at the piercing stare where he could see the sadness lurking within.

“Woo?” Yeosang stopped combing Wooyung’s hair, tracing down he let his hand wipe away the tears that escaped his eyes. Wooyoung finally looked up, feeling more tears gather in his eyes. His blurry vision of Yeosang frowning down at him with more worry creased over his face made him want to shout at him to stop, stop worrying about him and instead worry about himself.

“Everything will be okay,” He felt himself get pulled in a hug as he clutches Yeosang’s shoulder and cry his eyes out. He shook his head, holding onto him tightly

_ No, it will not be okay. _


	3. Chapter 3

Wooyoung could feel the warmth around him fading away. He let out a gasp, holding his arm out to grasp the warmth. His body jolted itself to sit up as his eyes opened wide to land on Yeosang looking at him with a confused and worried gaze,

“What’s wrong?” Wooyoung tried to stutter out his words but failed to tell Yeosang. His arms went limp and he slowly lied back down on the bed. “Woo?” He let out a sigh of relief, seeing that Yeosang was still there.

“I didn’t- I did not want to lose you.” He closed his eyes, fearing to see Yeosang’s sad expression. “I’m sorry.” He could hear shuffling and the bed beside him dipping from the weight that lies above.

“Woo…” He could feel Yeosang’s cold hand caressing his cheek, “Open your eyes for me.” He slowly cracked his eyes open, to see the smile playing in his lips yet he paid close attention to the sadness that clearly shone in his eyes. “You could never lose me.” He gave Wooyoung a kiss in the forehead before going towards the bathroom.

“You’re lying.” Wooyoung said in the empty bedroom, He ran a hand over his face and settled it above his chest where he could feel the beat of his own heart. He turned to his side, his back facing the bathroom door. He could hear the door opening then closing behind him but he didn’t move.

Yeosang sat down on the bed, back facing Wooyoung as he blankly stared at the wall.

“Woo?” He called out, receiving no answer from him and assumed that he was asleep. He lied down beside him, wrapping an arm around his waist and letting his breath ghost over the back of his neck, sending shivers all over Wooyoung’s body.

“Are you awake?” Yeosang asked once again, like he is making sure that he is not heard. He heard the other sigh, resting his head on Wooyoung's shoulder.

“I’m so sorry.” He apologized, tightening his hold on Wooyoung as if he is the one afraid that he’ll disappear. “I’m sorry that I chose to keep this to myself.”

“I’m sorry that I’m going to leave you someday.” Wooyoung could feel hot fresh tears rolling down on Yeosang’s cheeks and landing on the side of his neck where Yeosang rests his chin.

“I love you.” A hand intertwined itself on his own, gripping it shakily. “You deserve so much more. You deserve someone better than me.”

Wooyoung grasped on the hand that tried to pull away, he turned to Yeosang who stared back at him with shock. He lifted his other hand to wipe the tears with his thumb.

“I love you too.” His own voice cracked, “Don’t ever leave me.” Wooyoung pulled Yeosang on top of him, holding him securely as he rests his chin on his shoulder.

“I-“

“I mean it.” Yeosang pulled away slightly to take a look at his face, “Don’t ever leave me in this cruel world.”

_ A wish that pleaded for someone’s life. A wish of mourning. The sincerity and pain in his heart screamed so loudly that it reached out to the universe then his wish was granted. _

_ But, were they really meant to be together? _

Wooyoung could still remember this in his head clearly. It was at this moment where they decided to hang out at Wooyoung's home.

He clearly hear Hongjoong asking him the same question as before. He remembered watching Yeosang from the sidelines, telling him that he is fine. This time, he looked at Yeosang from far away, seeing the sadness and pain behind his eyes. Yet, he still told Hongjoong that he is fine when clearly he is not.

Yeosang excused himself, walking towards Wooyoung to say his farewell but he knew better now. He knows what will happen next.

“Hey, Woo. My parents just called me because an emerge-“ Wooyoung silently tugged on his sleeves, stopping him from speaking any further. “Woo?”

“Can we talk for a moment?” Yeosang opened his mouth to tell him once again but he could clearly see that there was something bothering Wooyoung so he agreed and let himself get pulled out in the backyard.

“Don’t leave me.” That is the first thing that Wooyoung said, pulling Yeosang into a tight hug. “Please don’t do it.”

“How…”

“I’m always here!” Wooyoung stopped him, “Please don’t leave me Yeosang… Don’t leave me here. I can’t live without you.” Yeosang’s body shake violently, a sob finally being let out as he sinks himself on Wooyoung’s arms.

Wooyoung turned his head to see the others walking towards them, seeing a sad smile on their faces. They pulled Yeosang into a group hug, joking around to make Yeosang smile.

He stepped back, looking at them with teary eyes. It is supposed to be like this. His heart ache badly in his chest that he had to hold his chest but nonetheless smiled at the scene unraveling before him. The smile that he desperately wanted to see, this is how it should have happened.

Yet Wooyoung knew that it is just a wish, it will always be a wish.

Wooyoung had to accept it, accept the fact that Yeosang no longer lives, that he will never go back just because of a wish.

A wish will always stay a wish.

Still, when 11:11 strikes. Wooyoung held his hands together and begged to the sky for Yeosang to come back, to beg for something impossible.

**END.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the whole point is, at the first chapter. You would have notice that the clock is written there starting in 11:09 meaning Wooyoung broke one rule of the 11:11. The next day, he was unable to see the number 11:13 instead watch as the clock turned to 11:12 making his wish invalid.
> 
> To summarize, it is all a dream. It was never true. It's an imagination of how it would have turned out if he realized it sooner.


End file.
